Zuni Fetish Doll Wanted For Questioning in Local Man’s Respiratory Failure Death
• Local man was fleeing quarantine.
• He claimed Zuni Fetish Doll in hot pursuit!
• Later found dead of respiratory failure.
• Zuni Fetish Doll wanted for questioning.
On Tuesday night, local eccentric and famed retired explorer Dixon Bainbridge was found dead in his penthouse apartment of respiratory failure.
Earlier that day, authorities had prevented Mr. Bainbridge from leaving his residence as he had been placed on a three week home quarantine due to recent globetrotting adventures in several high risk pandemic locations.
According to eyewitness testimony, Mr.Bainbridge appeared in a frantic state claiming a mystical Zuni Fetish Doll had recently come to life and had made several attempts on his life.
Authorities at the scene quote Dixon Bainbridge as saying: “It’s right behind me you fools—can’t you hear it in the air ducts? The curse is real and it wont stop till we’re all dead!”
Dixon Bainbridge is survived by his daughter, Malinda, who is set to donate his vast collection of artifacts, and several hundred sharpened chopsticks, to the local explorers’ club founded by Dixon himself.
At press time Police have advised residents to remain calm and continue with life as usual.
“I want to reassure the residents that we the police are doing everything in our power to track and capture the Fetish doll and am urging anyone with details to come forward and aid in the investigation,” police said.
Related Posts
1 Comment
Comments are closed.
Get off my lawn!